This Journey Called 'Life'

Pitchai

2011-03-17T23:00:00.003+05:30

Post full'a instances, things i have seen....

Pala naatkala indha kelvi irundhu kitte irukku..

Sariya, illai thavara.. Idha edhukku venumnalum kekkalaamnu theriyum, aana indha pitchai podanumgara neram vandha podhum, Pitchai podaromo illayo, indha kelvi vandhurum. Ivar/ivan/ival/IDHUNGAL ukku podalaama.. yaarukku kaasu pogum.. nammalae ippdi kaasu kuduthu ivangalukku nambikkai tharome.. sari thaana namma panradhu.. ippdiye time poittu irukka, signal vizhundhurum,[Enakku comments kannula theriyudhu, Kaasu poda kanja pattu thaane naaye indha velai onakku nu... boys, control pannunga.. serious blog :)] first gear pottu thooka vendi thaan... adutha signal vara..

Adhe signal, innoru naal... oru vayasaana paati ma varuvaanga.. ivangalukku podalaam, edhuvum yosikkama nu jeans la theduvom.. thedi eduthu, oru satisfaction'oda poduvom patti maa kaila irukkara thattula.. 1 Re. Aen. Aen ennala/oru sarasari manushanala, manasa vittu pitchai poda mudiyardhilla.. Avasaram? Illa, again andha kelvigal? Signal la 1 Rs pottutu, veetu theru monaila 5 Rs ku oru kings..

Pitchai podaradhula sila per vidhyasama iruppanga.. For example, enga annan. Avanukku music na uyiru. Indha orey karanathukkaga yaaru train la flute/mouth organ/ edhavathu vasichuttu vandha podhum, pitchai poduvaan... vasikka therinjadhanaala thaano ennavo ippdi avangala kurudana sutha vuttu irukkanga... Slumdog Millionaire la vara maari..

Serenity

2010-01-15T18:07:00.004+05:30

Torrid times.. looking back at all that has been going on within me, feels like its all going to burst out, sometime in the near future... not knowing what am doing, not knowing why am doing what am doing, not knowing how to stop what am doing and not knowing whether i should stop what am doing.. i am constantly creating my own puzzles and trying to solve it.. constantly getting myself lost in the maze.. i find the way out, but that lasts for too short a time for me to savor it, and am lost, in the maze again, thinking... i have started hating most of what i do.. most of what i loved to do.. this is a change in me that i badly want to undo .. i badly want to go back.. i badly want to stop thinking of a trillion things at a time.. need serenity.. probably a 'Into the wild' or a 'Catcher in the Rye' is what will bring me back..

Yaarukkillai Porattam, Kannilenna Neerottam

2009-06-17T07:19:00.005+05:30

Its been a long time since I have posted something. Not that I have been keeping myself busy or anything. Don't mistake me and the nature of my job. Of late I have been whining about quite a few things -> my work, the strange thing with my stomach, so on and so forth. Just a few days back, a thing happened that just wanted me to put a stop to all this whining.

It was just another day, when i came back early from office at around 6'o clock. I kept the bike in the basement and was climbing the stairs up to the appartment when I noticed that our watchman's bags were packed.

We happen to be the 'Only' Bachelors in an appartment of families. So there we go, the odd one out. Once two of my roommates had a release and came late on a Friday night, the watchman looks at them for a minute or two, calls the appartment owner, who comes down, smiles and says "Friday Night Blues eh?? You bachelors..." Roommate looks at the owner for a minute and he struggles to find the right set of words, owner smirks and lets them inside.. So, all we have to do is pay the watchman 10 bucks every 3, 4 days for his Chai and Dhum and he will keep the door open for you forever.

Coming to where i left, our watchman's bags were packed. I happened to be one of the few people in our appartment knowing a little bit of hindi. He came out of his hut in the basement to arrange his bags. I asked him where he was going and the reply shook me to my core. If what I remember is right, he said 'mere bache ko kisi ne motal kar dhiya' .. I understand Hindi to an extent, but not to the extent of 'motal kar dhiya' .. I just said I dont get you and he came back with 'mere bache ko kisi ne maar dhiya'..(Somebody killed my sons) ..Then i Got it, i was lost for words.. And even worse was that he had to go by bus to his hometown and it will take some '4 days' to reach his place.. It was too much of a shock to me and I could not understand how someone can take this on the chin.. He did not even shed a tear.. Probably he was being a man now, but every minute in that bus journey will bring back memories of the past.. He was being what he is, a watchman, so far away from home, just to earn that extra 1000 and send it back home so that his kids don't starve..

This is when I probably realized that whatever I am whining about is just nothing when compared to what some people are going through right at this moment.. And I met a few other people who made my eyes water, The beggar who has probably had his eyes plucked without his knowledge and who has been made to beg on the trains.. A 90 year old lady whose spine is so bent she can't even stand for more than a few minutes, begging barefoot on a tar road..

There are a few lines that I recollect now.. This is from a Film Song in Tamil..

'Yaarukkillai Porattam, Kannil enna Neerottam'(Who isn't struggling here, why cry?)
'Tholvi indri Varalaara, Dhukkam enna en thozha' ..(With every failure, u get better, u will create history some day)

Every time we whine, we just have to probably think of the above two lines.. At this point I would like to quote one more line from another tamil song, which says,

'Unakkum keezhae ullavar kodi, Ninaithu paarthu nimmadhi naadu' (There is someone who is in a worse situation than what u are in right now, so don't lose it, don't lose hope)

If taken in the right sense, this will take you places.. Be happy with what you have, but dont be satisfied, always strive for more, but don't you whine about it..

Need a Break, but no KitKat please..

2009-03-04T16:47:00.003+05:30

Stare at the computer screen for two mins.. Click play on the ipod near the table.. Click on 'Stumble' icon on the top-left of the computer screen, wait for 20 seconds for the page to load..The page loads, but still there is a flash presentation to load, 20 more seconds, and finally we are there, but after looking at the page for 5 seconds, get a deja-vu feeling.. Oh, I have already seen this site, Even 'Stumble' seems to have run out of pages.. Close the tab.. Go back to looking at the computer screen and wondering what on earth I should be doing.. The song ends on my ipod, time to change the album.. Somehow manage to spend 10 minutes.. still an hour left till acids start secreting inside my stomach and i hear the bells ringing inside.. hunger.. and what do i have for lunch.. that is the big question.. oh yes it is.. Of late I have been having this problem with my bowel movements.. i go to a doctor and he writes(scribbles) something on the top of the prescription.. he never mentions what that is to me.. I suspect something and google it... 'IBS' stands for Irritable Bowel Syndrome.. Sounds so so ..

It's a seriously ill feeling when u are made to eat a prescribed set of food items.. but it kills when you are just aged 20, when your roommates seem to be having the potential to grab and swallow a full chicken.. and you are left sitting opposite, eating a curd rice with sambar, hoping that the sambar has lesser tomatoes as u know, even tomatoes can trigger IBS..

You name it and it in one way or the other triggers IBS.. The title of the blog implies the same thing. I am not allowed to have Chocolates .. And somehow all the websites that i browse seem to be stressing one thing clearly, 'There is no cure as such for IBS' .. To hell with these guys.. And if this happens to someone like me, a working bachelor, trust me, you are doomed.. it takes months to know what suits your stomach n colon, and by the time u find that out, you are fed up with eating that daily and u yearn for a change.. with change, tagged along comes inconvenience..

Badly need a break from all of this..

Namma Bengaluru

2008-12-18T12:12:00.004+05:30

Before I start this post, the word ‘namma’ has a special place in our hearts, for it was once ‘used’ to talk about probably the sexiest woman on earth(trying to stifle a laugh). Well, it was one of those early mornings when I used to wake up and go through the Times of India, just to know the current affairs, when unknowingly I picked up the Bangalore times that comes along as a supplement(;)) and there she was, on the last page of the daily, doing what she does best, posing for a photograph which makes her look best in ways that u can just imagine and the caption was ‘Namma namitha goes to London’ and I felt like I was going to nauseate.. Of all possible things that could have happened, this had to happen… A perfect start for the day..
Could not resist waking up my fellow roommates who were busy sleeping and managed to ruin their day as well..
P.S: Hope I have not hurt any true tamilian here, there is a rumor that a temple is being built for this goddess, namma namidha(a.k.a nami) .

The post is going to be about people who have to commute from their homes to their workplaces daily. And If you are one of those people who don’t own a vehicle(not that owning a vehicle makes u sweat less) or people who feel a six kilometer walk will take longer than going by auto, you are in for a ride. Autos it is.

There are quite a few things that goes on in the minds of every Autowala. Probably the first thing he looks at is whether you have a girl along with you. If yes, you would not have much of a problem catching an auto. In our world, this is termed ‘chilrai kaamam’. Anyway, Bangalore girls can have that effect on you.

And if you are a bunch of guys waiting for an auto, showing your thumbs up and waving, he looks at you, asks where you want to go, and before u even finish the name of the place, he guesses what that is and takes off. You are left slightly dented and irritated. The insane thing with these guys is, even if the place where u want to go is en-route the direction in which the auto is going, they do not care.

Then comes the next one, looks at the three of us. Knows very well that we don’t speak the language. Asks us to get in. Once we are in, he coolly says, sir, meter+20 rs kudi . O.K. And he starts the auto. What? We cry a little protest and there we are out again on the streets waving and thumbing. No sane man would give meter+20 when the meter itself in all probability would show 25 rs.

Just thought of an incident that happened to me, It was one of those frustrating days with the autos. I was out of steam and was no longer waving even. Then, an auto stopped by. What a pleasant surprise. I get in and tell him where I want to go. He doesn’t crib. He doesn’t say anything. Ah, lucky I thought. We go hundred metres and he says, sir, have to put petrol first, so will take some time. I don’t have a problem with that, not as if am running to catch a plane. I say ok. Little did I know that the dreaded petrol bunk was a kilometer away from the place where I got into the auto and that too in the other direction, opposite to where my home was. A smirk on his face. He will drink to me tonight.

And finally, even if you are a little agnostic or an atheist, you have got to pray that it does not rain when you are outside. There is the concept that you have to pay 1.5 times the meter price when it gets dark. But when is ‘dark’ is completely left to the autowala. And if it starts raining around 9 PM, its festival time for the auto’s. Two times the meter price is the best bargain that you will get. And they know you well, they know you would not want to get wet and that you would not care about paying that extra money for one day. (It rains quite a lot in Bangalore).

There is still a little bit more about these autos, the way they manage to heat up the meters and make it show 85 for a 55 rs ride, how he starts to explain his plight, whenever we ask for a ride, that he would get no ride back and petrol prices are sky high and blah blah blah, that you get into the auto hoping against hope that at least he stops cribbing once we are inside.(But he does not).All the cribbing for the 10 rs extra on the meter.

Is there a way out.. Buy your own vehicle. But watch out.

Someday Syndrome

2008-12-11T16:44:00.005+05:30

Teacher : What do you aspire to become when you get old?

Me : (little, wearing shorts… some 3^rd grade or so) Be the first human to touch Mars, I say that and I look around the class with a smile beaming on my face.

Seven years later..

Appa: Time to choose your stream man, choose a proper one… think about what you want to become.

Me: I still want to become an astronaut.. what do I do pa..

Appa: Choose what you feel is best for u, you are old enough.. If u ask me, Science Stream ..

Me: Yeah ok, Science it is..

The dream is still on…

Two years later..

Every person I meet on the road: What are you planning to do?

Me: Still thinking, no idea. Not sure if I have any chance of getting aeronautics.

3^rd Person: Aeronautics, U have the course at so and so college, but am not sure about placements and future. Think twice.

Me: Yeah, I got to know about the placements. I am thinking Computers. I was good at it in my 12^th grade.

3^rd Person: hmm.. hmmm..

1 year later..

Next door dude: Movie?

Me: Yeah, Yeah .. these

common courses, a pain in the a$$ …

2 and a half years later..

Every person I meet on the road: What are you planning to do?

Me: Still thinking, no idea. It’s either got to be an M.B.A or M.S. I don’t think I will do an M.S though, enough of this technical crap… hmm.. let’s see.. first let me get placed someplace.

3^rd Person: Yeah, a good start for career is important, always better to work for a year or two and then do an M.B.A.

6 months later..

Appa: Dei, Good good, heard u

made a good job at placements.

Me: Yes pa, finally, happy ..

really happy..

Appa: What about future plans..

Me: Not right now, let me work for some time, then let’s think about it later.

2 Months later:

Me: Hello Ma’am.. Got a new job, have got sweets.

Teacher: Oh, good good.. U lived your dream of landing on mars? A chuckle ..

Me: Smiled dismissing her comments, No ma’am, knew that was a little too far-fetched, was a kid then.

6 Months later..

Colleague: Dude, fed up with this job.. wanna go out for lunch? We can spend atleast two hours or so outside.

Me: Yeah sure, for the work that we do here….. We guys should be doing something innovative, something more interesting machi..

Colleague: Yeah.. hmm.. no point grumbling now..

Someday Syndrome: not doing what you want to because you don’t know what it is, because you’re procrastinating about it, or because you have too much stuff getting in your way.( Got the definition from http://zenhabits.net/2008/12/11-ways-to-cure-someday-syndrome/)

Each one of us are doing this to some degree, like, Someday I will learn guitar and play an Iron Maiden Song, Someday I will join a football club. Someday I will be this, Someday I will do that ….. The day never comes ….

We wait, we wait for the fruit to fall.. Little do we know that by the time the fruits fall, all you have is squirrel-bitten, rotten-on-one-side piece… No point waiting, no point waiting for that dawn … Time we took our chance and Chased our dreams, aspirations….

In an Indian Society, a place where only engineers and doctors are pretty much considered literates, the fight is intense, not just the fight against laziness, fight for opportunities.. fight for bread..

Time has come to change this, this mentality, break the rules… We need a revolution… Enough of unfulfilled dreams and lost chances.. These are wounds that just won’t heal..

I am a software engineer (yet another one) working in one of those MNC’s.

The Catcher in the Rye

2008-12-08T18:12:00.000+05:30

For those of you who have not yet read the book, please go ahead and read it. It will change your way of life, trust me.

Have you ever entered an elevator and started a conversation with 'Hi, How are you doing'? ' How are kids at home'? You give a little pause and smile for the replies that he gives and yeah, he asks you the same questions. And you look at the number on the lift, it's still at the 4th and you are seated on the 13th floor. You are left with no choice other than to start conversing something again and what else to talk about when you just do not know what to say. 'The weather has got really cold right' you say and he nods and talks about the morning dew. You also have to say something now or else he would be offended. Oh yes, he would be. Again a pause.....

This is something that you do every day, every day when you walk your dog out of your house, everyday when you enter your office elevator.. This is termed 'Small Talk' - light conversation for social occasions. I am one of you people who hates these 'Small Talks'. There is a better word for this, 'Phony' .

The Catcher in the Rye is one book which made me think. And think twice about this society and the phonies living all around us.
-> Fellow students, who are more interested in playing a part or looking good than in doing or saying anything honest.
-> The Movies - the dramatics involved ...
-> Politicians-i don't need to talk about this group of people
-> Sports people who seem to be longing to show their skills and exhibit themselves rather than playing their part
-> Neighbors who know well to flash a smile when they pick up the morning papers and forget you once they are inside.

When you think of all this is when you wish for a conversation that's straight from the heart, to converse with someone anything and everything that comes to your mind. It is really difficult to find relationships of this kind, but only when you find them, your pursuit of happiness will end. Till then, you are also very much part of this phony world and giving your share as well.

Go and find that person, maybe a friend, a love, your cousin who is two years old and who is innocent, your grandfather who is 70 who wishes for your good and who means it........

Intro

2008-12-08T17:43:00.000+05:30

Have always been looking to write diaries, there is so much that happens everyday in your life, so many emotions, so many lies, so many phony smiles, so much that you need to sit down and pour it all out. Here I am, starting a blog, to express and share my thoughts.

Some of my posts would be in Tamil(mostly poems etc) . Otherwise, the blog would predominantly be in English.

About me, I am very much an emotional person, someone whose mood swings by the minute, someone who can be a good friend and lend a helping hand, and at another time be as selfish as it can get.

There's a lot more to me(I like exploring myself) .. But I don't want to bore you anymore.

P.S: 'I like exploring myself' - Signifies just my mind. Not to be mistaken in any other way. :) .

Kalloorich Chaalai

2008-12-08T17:29:00.001+05:30

kadhavugal thirandhu kaladi veitha andha naal mudhal

kai kulukki katti anaithu kai vidum varai

ethanai ninaivugal

kavalaigal maranthu kutti sevatril

kathaigal pesum andha sila nodigal

vagupparai thavira veru idam ellam engal kaaladigal

ovvoru muraiyum medai eri nadithanpin

kai thattalin naduve Kanavodu sila neram

ellam indrudan mudigarathu

sattre,siragagul mulaithana

kootai vittu veliye selvathai
ninaithu parthale.........
Ninaithu paarkayil kangalin orathil iru thuli kanneer... indha naalu varudandgal.. marava ninaivigul..